The Question Box

Q:  Why does the Catholic Church require marriage preparation before a couple gets married?

A: Marriage is a sacrament and it is the custom of the Church to prepare people for the reception of sacraments so that they can celebrate them as fully conscious of the spiritual character of each sacrament as possible. For example, we prepare children for First Reconciliation and First Communion, young people for confirmation. There is a very lengthy preparation (seminary training) for Holy Orders. Marriage is no exception.

Marriage preparation usually takes about six to eight months. This “waiting period” in itself provides the couple with time to prepare prayerfully for the ceremony and to make sure that neither person is rushing into such a serious commitment. During this time the couple takes a formal marriage preparation program. It is often parish-based, but is sometimes sponsored by another church-related organization such as Engaged Encounter.

The program will foster discussion between the bride and groom about the spiritual character of the commitment they are making, but also about such broader topics as financial readiness, communication within the marriage relationship, child rearing practices, etc. In a sense, though, all of these topics concern the sacramental character of the marriage relationship because the sacramental presence of Christ is experienced in marriage through the give-and-take, joys and sorrows, and mutual support the man and woman offer one another and their children during their life time together.

During the preparation period the couple may also complete a questionnaire about their own attitudes regarding marriage and married life and then meet with a trained parish minister to discuss their answers. Also, of course, the couple will meet with the priest or deacon who will preside at their marriage ceremony to complete necessary paper work and plan the ceremony.

Almost universally, couples who have completed marriage preparation in the Catholic Church have found the experience enormously rewarding. Amidst the often frantic preparations required (dress fittings, reception details, showers, bachelor/bachelorette parties, etc.) for a contemporary wedding, the church preparation affords the couple quiet moments for reflection and spiritual awakening.

Paul D. Huesing, C.S.P.

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